I always thought that older generation (our moms) raised their kids better than us.
I was wrong.
We are actually slightly better in term of parenting (in many aspects). But to be fair, we are that way because we grew up in evolving, better faciliatated, educated and well exposed society.
As to meet up the standard of today’s acceptable parenting, I honestly think that we have put some much pressure on our shoulders. What an expensive price to pay.
We become afraid of judgement.
We are competing each others, of who’s child is the brightest.
The imperfection of our children is a clear reflection of our failure as a mom. So they have to be perfect. Poor kids.
There are milestones obligations. If our kids reached certains skills quite slow, then Houston, we have a problem.
We are plagued with unnecessary anxieties, mocked up pressure because if we don’t feel that way then we are not a good mom.
And I’m glad to have debunking the ‘parenting 101′ that has been imbedded inside us (through socmed).
I’ll never try to be a perfect mom again. And my kids don’t have to be perfect.
I will not push Reza and Yeyen to eat vegetables now because the truth is I only started eating them at the age of 10.
I will not think that Reza is a slow learner despite his inability to read because he can draw much better than kids of his age.
I will embrace my kids’ flaws and encourage them to do the same. They are not in training to be a superhuman.
Lets go back to the main title.
Why we think our moms were better at raising us compared to us raising our kids?
Well, our moms had the least sense of guilt when they fed us with formula milk.
They often left us with other relatives whenever they were out for an errand. And not missing us at all.
They didn’t seek consultation from a doctor when we were still not talking at the age of three.
And surely gave it a pass when we can’t count 1-10 at the age of 5.
That’s our moms. Too much flaws, isn’t?
The answer is easy. And my mom would vouch me for giving this answer too.
They had quite a stress free motherhood. They let us grew in our own pace.
That’s why we tend to think that our moms are better than us……despite of their flaws.
So, to make the best from this situation is – BALANCE. Take the best lesson we acquired from both generations.
Well, that’s what I’m trying to do.